Not even the trees

I love the fact that you are the face that I see right before I fall to sleep. I love the way you watch over me. I love the way you take care of me...even when I know I am a big girl and can do it myself. You are the one who makes my heart skip a beat, and brings tears to my eyes. I love the way you make me smile, and write cheesy lovey crap in my journal. I love you... Now...and forever. No matter what happens. No matter how much I don't like you sometimes... I always love you, and always want to make it better... and it does. Everyday.I love you Patrick.

concept, composition, components...

I am bored out of my mind... I have to go to the bathroom... and everyone has gone to lunch. I want food.

To whom it may concern

I think that EVERYONE should pay some attention to what i have to say and look at my deviantART.

Thank You.

I know you all too well in pieces

First Day of chemistry and I just realized that I have a lot of free time between work and school.

Maybe thats a good thing (I could get some serious work done).

I think I have had it *puts foot down*. I am tired of working at a place where everything is so secretive. I would like to be able to talk to someone about business and have a straight answer instead of "I can have my supervisor work up a quote". I am determined to help out local bands even if that means I have to sneak around and pitch in some money to get the work done. I have control of the situation when it is in my hands- and I know what they need will get done if they would just give me the chance. Thats what I want to do.

I think I am done for right now. Thanks.

piercing through another victim...

I guess that this is what having a journal is for. When you feel like talking and in need of comfort and you feel like no one cares, or there is no one to talk to.

Last Night I was feeling kind of confident, definitely excited. I set up a Myspace account for the third time in my life, but this time for networking reasons. I want to put my name and my work out there. Granted I am only 19 years old, i am kind of limited in experience and what I can do. I know some graphic design, thats what I have been doing for the past 6 months now. I am still learning and am sure that I will learn more in the future. I feel like as determined as I am, I won't go anywhere. I'm scared. I want help figuring out what I am doing. I want to help out Las Vegas local bands, and I am trying to get a good price on printing flyers and whatever they need through Vision, but I dont want printing to be all that I am known for. I will go to whatever necessary length to get them what they need, and maybe they will keep me in mind when it comes to designing things.

I guess I will keep trying...

maybe thats me, tearing out your lungs...

Here are just a few thoughts that have been going through my little brain.

I love my Patrick with all of my little heart, which is nothing new. This is my point exactly. It's bland, generic. The romance and face-touching with the cuddling and all the little things that made both of us exciting- I think it died. Maybe it died a while ago and refused to see it, but I think its gone. He used to follow me around (even the house), he used to call me- a lot, we used to talk about going places and doing things. He used to say nice things about me and made me feel good about myself. Well, the following stopped, cuddling lasts a short time- if at all, I call him all the time, we don't go anywhere or do anything, and I have tried to point out the fact that he rarely say's good things about me anymore. I don't know what happens, but it doesn't get done. He say's that he loves me and I believe him, but it has become, generic. I tell him nice things about him, I try to be encouraging and helpful. I don't think it does any good. I know that I have my moments where I get upset and irritated, and moodswing like crazy, but that is the opportunity to make things better- hold my hand. I can't stay mad if he's making an effort- and he knows it, he just doesn't do it.

I love him like mad, and I know he loves me too, but I hope it gets better.

don't let the days go by... glycerine

TELL ME I'M PRETTY DAMNIT!!!

I'll Shoot, You Run

I just thought that I would give a few random thoughts. I am incredibly bored and am almost finished with another vector. I can't tell if I am improving or not.

School starts on the 23rd of January, and I intend on going to get my books for next semester today after work.

I also need to give my mom maps to Barb's house for the naughty lady party.

And for something totally random and that I feel needs to be written down and out of my brain is that nobody cares about (so-and-so). The only reason I check anything is because I find the humor in the thought that (so-and-so) thinks that (he/she) has true friends. It is only like super clear that (his/her) "friends" and "partner" show up only when they find an outlet to boost their own ego's sometimes quite literally. After the high is over- no one cares, so I find it funny that whenever (she/he) plans things bigger than (his/her) self, that they 99% of the time get knocked down- bitch, moan, and cry. Shit happens to everyone. This person is blind, and I shall leave it at that.

I need to take the MR2 down to Nissan sometime early next week. I am going to take my Max to Nissan tomorrow, my baby needs new tires and stuff.

And for one final thought, I love my Patrick more than anything in the whole entire 'verse. He just gets better and better every day.

THE list

These are the things that I need to get done...

Maxima
1. New Tires
2. Steering Hose
3. New Deck
4. Strip & Redo Tint
5. Lubricate Windows

MR2
1. Steering Rack & Pinion
2. Finish Installing Stereo
3. Oil & Tranny Fluid Change
4. Find Front & Rear Bumper, along with a hood latch
5. Lubricate Windows, possibly get new window regulator
6. New Windshield

I would also like to get a digital camera, either a Sony P200 (cheaper& smaller) or a Canon 20D (be able to do more art with it)

I would also like to state that I am seriously tired of retarded people driving while I am driving. I kid you not, in the past two days, 3 people have had to swerve on to the shoulder to avoid rear-ending me. Idiots Rule (Janes Addiction was a genius band)

Firefly rocks my socks off- I think that I like it more than the 4400. Such a shame that the series ended after 14 episodes, don't watch it unless you are strong emotionally- its like unexplainable. The show is phenominal. Best of all it ends with a great movie (Serenity), just to put the end of the show icing on the Firefly cake.

I need to organize myself.

yay blogger.

I guess I'm not too enthusiastic about this right now, but maybe later I will make some use of this. I had a livejournal account... but I guess that the million and one ways in which I feel about my Patrick offend other people. (and since when was loving your partner such a competition?). So, I guess at the moment, I am just really stressed about my money- I need some. I have tons of ideas and things that I would love to do- but can't afford or have the time for at the moment- and might not have for many years. I would like to start a magazine, but I need a camera and contacts. I have people that are willing to help with the other parts. So, I guess I will see if I like this blogger thingey.