maybe thats me, tearing out your lungs...

Here are just a few thoughts that have been going through my little brain.

I love my Patrick with all of my little heart, which is nothing new. This is my point exactly. It's bland, generic. The romance and face-touching with the cuddling and all the little things that made both of us exciting- I think it died. Maybe it died a while ago and refused to see it, but I think its gone. He used to follow me around (even the house), he used to call me- a lot, we used to talk about going places and doing things. He used to say nice things about me and made me feel good about myself. Well, the following stopped, cuddling lasts a short time- if at all, I call him all the time, we don't go anywhere or do anything, and I have tried to point out the fact that he rarely say's good things about me anymore. I don't know what happens, but it doesn't get done. He say's that he loves me and I believe him, but it has become, generic. I tell him nice things about him, I try to be encouraging and helpful. I don't think it does any good. I know that I have my moments where I get upset and irritated, and moodswing like crazy, but that is the opportunity to make things better- hold my hand. I can't stay mad if he's making an effort- and he knows it, he just doesn't do it.

I love him like mad, and I know he loves me too, but I hope it gets better.