but i cant tell you from the drugs

i feel like i dont belong here. i feel like a stranger. i feel like i am trapped inside of myself only to see my body ruining everything that i have worked so hard for. i keep screaming, but nobody can hear me. my body says things that make other people mad, that make me mad. i want to die. i want to disappear, because it is not like i make a positive difference anyway. i want to be alone, i want someone to take my quivering hand and tell me that everything is going to be ok beautiful. he used to wipe tears from my eyes... now they just fall. i dont know if you can re-fall in love with someone, but i wish i could on command. i used to feel special, and look forward to getting off of work. maybe everything moved too fast. i wish someone could help me.